Starting this blog up feels like a positive move, in that through committing to update it, I'm making myself focus on my recovery more, whereas last year I allowed myself to be easily distracted from the task in hand because it felt too painful to confront. It's also something tangible I can think about that gives me strength when I'm in the midst of angst-provoking situations: This morning, knowing that I'm fighting my OCD again rather than passively letting it claim more and more of my life, I was able to only check household appliances a couple of times before leaving the house (normally I have to check up to 20 times)!
I've made a start on preparing my Anxiety / Exposure Master Hierarchy (the first stage of engagement in ERP). Right now, it feels as if I have so many fears, obsessions, triggers and compulsions, that I don't know where to begin. My friend, Richelle Leah said to me recently, "I honestly think you can start anywhere and you'll end up in a better place." Here's hoping!